


The Long Night

by thatwriterlady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cemetery, Character Death, Feelings, First Kiss, Friendship, Helping, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Searching, Strangers to Friends, Tragedy, Unfinished Business
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 19:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: Since Mary Winchester died, Dean has visited the cemetery, taking care of his mother's grave, and even though she's dead, he sits and talks to her, telling her about his life.  He misses her, even if he can't remember her well anymore.Like clockwork, every year on Halloween he visits her grave.  It's the anniversary of her death, but this particular year, he's forced to go to the cemetery after dark.  He normally wouldn't think twice about it, except this time it feels like he's being watched, and there's a strange guy in a suit.  Something's about to change.  Whether it's for the better or for worse, he's about to have his world turned upside down.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back...miss me?
> 
> I was suspended for a month, for one of my stories having a fundraiser link, but they won't tell me which story, and I couldn't find it on my own. I have over 300 stories, and going through each one on limited wifi just wasn't happening. I searched my more recent works but didn't find anything. I figured it would be some time around the time my mom died, but I couldn't find anything, so it has to be older than that. If you guys know what story it is, please let me know so I can fix it. Also, not cool with the tattling in the first place. What is this, third grade? You see something you think is wrong, comment and let me know, I'll fix whatever it is, or take it down. This kind of behavior makes me not what to write for you guys anymore. I prefer for people to come to me directly, not do this. 
> 
>  
> 
> That being said, before you read the tags and freak, it's not what you think. If any of you have read my works before, you should know that when I write MCD, death is not where I end the story. This is a story of friendship, more than anything, of time past, time present, and time future, and before you go jumping to conclusions, I wrote this the way I did for a reason. You guys know that I don't write angst very often, but this is pretty light in regards to angst anyway. No, no cheating, nothing like that. I saw this story going in a specific direction, so I rode it through til the end. Hopefully you all like it. You'll want to grab that box of tissues though, because the ending is what's gonna get you. I do hope you enjoy this one, it's my contribution to the Halloween challenge this year in the HBTT group on FB. Let me know what you think.

 

 

 

 

Since he was twelve years old, Dean had always gone to Franklin Cemetery alone, exactly three times a year.  It was where his mother was buried, and though his father had stopped taking him once he’d remarried, Dean had never stopped going.  He went on February third, his mother’s birthday, December twenty fifth, Christmas Day, and October thirty-first, Halloween, because that’s the day she’d died. 

 

It had been by chance that Mary Winchester had died on the day that had once been Dean’s favorite holiday.  He was four, almost five (he’d always considered himself closer to his next birthday as soon as June hit because that put him six months closer to his next birthday.  Kid logic.), and after dressing up in his fireman costume, she’d put his baby brother, Sam, into his stroller and they’d headed out to go trick or treating.

 

The weather had been pleasant that evening, enough so that she’d been able to leave Sam’s jacket open so his costume had been visible.  He’d been dressed as peas in a pod.  Basically his mother had taken a green sleeper and attached big, green pom poms to the front of it.  Sam found them fascinating and spent most of their time out trick or treating trying to eat them.  Dean had thought his brother was silly, but his mom had lifted Sam out of the stroller each time they’d moved on to another block, and carried him up to whatever house they were at, so they could see the baby’s outfit too.  Everyone gushed over how cute the Winchester boys were, and Dean used that to his advantage to get as much candy as he could, even though he knew his dad would eat at least half of it. 

 

They were six blocks from home when it happened. They’d been standing at the corner, waiting for the light to change so they could cross.  It was time to go home.  Dean was cold and tired, and Sam had already fallen asleep, tucked into his stroller under his thick blanket.  Mary had just wanted to get her boys home and ready for bed, but that’s not what happened.  She’d been standing there, paying more attention to her boys than anything going on around her when three men dressed all in black with skull masks had come out of the darkness.  They’d snuck up behind Mary and tried to grab what they thought was her purse.  It was actually Sam’s diaper bag, but the design made it look like a purse.  Dean didn’t know why, but his mother fought them, trying to hang on to the bag.  He screamed and burst into tears as one of the men pulled out a knife and stabbed Mary Winchester, right in front of her children.  It had only been one jab of the knife, but it had managed to go straight into her heart.  She was dead before she hit the ground.  They’d made off with the bag and Dean had fallen to his knees, screaming and crying as he shook his mother’s shoulders, trying to wake her up.  Sam had woken up when his brother started screaming and he was crying too, but Dean didn’t care, he’d just wanted his mommy to wake up.

 

People had come to help, so had the police.  Dean and Sam had been forced away from their mom and put into a police car.  They’d gone to the police station where he’d been asked his name, and if he knew his daddy’s name.  He’d given it, and as he clung to his baby brother, they’d waited what felt like forever for the police to find John Winchester. 

 

They finally managed to find the boys’ father and had sent a car to go tell him in person what had happened.  John had panicked, worried about his children, and they’d brought him down to the station.  Dean had burst into tears all over again when his father rushed in and scooped them both up in his arms, and Sammy had started crying too.  Dean had never seen his father cry before that day, but his tears had fallen atop the little boy’s head.  They’d felt heavy, full of sadness, and he’d clung to his father in terror, begging for his mother.  It was the scariest day of his life.

 

That had been nearly fourteen years ago.  When Dean was eight, his dad remarried.  Still, he took the boys up to the cemetery twice a year, on Mary’s birthday, and on Christmas.  Halloween was no longer celebrated in the Winchester house, and honestly, Dean didn’t care.  Sam fussed a bit until around the age of five it was finally explained to him just _why_ they didn’t celebrate it.  After that, he hadn’t wanted costumes and candy either.

 

Slowly the visits to the cemetery tapered off.  By the time Dean was ten, they were only visiting on Christmas and by the time he was twelve, John had stopped going completely.  That had made Dean angry, so he’d learned the path to the cemetery and started going by himself.  He was allowed to take his brother when Sam turned ten, but only on Christmas and Mary’s birthday.  John hated Halloween and felt it was unsafe for his boys, but Dean hadn’t cared.  He’d fought his father on it and eventually won, but on Halloween night, he was not permitted to take his brother with him.  It had been scary that first year, until he’d actually gotten to the cemetery. 

 

Dean had always found the cemetery to be a calm, peaceful place.  He would sit on his mother’s grave and talk to her about whatever was going on in his life at that time.  It felt like she was listening, hearing what he was saying and smiling down at him from heaven.  The cemetery had always felt like a safe place to him, even though it creeped most people out, including his brother. 

 

One of the things he’d noticed, even as a little boy, was that while the world was constantly on the go, noisy, busy, and a bit overwhelming at times, the cemetery was always quiet.  Occasionally he’d hear a bird singing in the trees, or see a squirrel darting past the headstones, but that was it.  The quiet fell like a blanket over the place, and it was something he’d always loved. 

 

When he was seventeen, he’d come to the cemetery with flowers, as he’d started doing now that he had a job and could afford them, after turning down multiple invitations from friends to go partying.  It was Halloween and there were parties galore, but he didn’t want to go.  He wanted to spend time with his mother.  At six he’d struck out for the cemetery, having just gotten off work an hour earlier.  Children in costumes abounded, but he’d always had trouble looking at them.  It brought him pain every time he saw kids in fireman costumes, bringing a dull ache to his chest.  He still remembered the men in the skull masks, and the way his mother had just collapsed in front of him.  He remembered crying, being terrified, and just…wanting his mother back. 

 

That particular day he was feeling rather moody.  He worked in his father’s auto shop, and John had never denied him the time he needed to visit his mother’s grave while still light out, and usually he gave Dean the day off on October thirty first.  The problem was, that particular Halloween they’d been short staffed, so he’d asked Dean to just work a couple of hours before he headed to the cemetery.  Dean had obliged, but staying late meant he was going to the cemetery after dark.  He was emotional, feeling drained after dealing with friends that had pushed for him to join them for fun and mischief.  They didn’t understand or care to understand just what that day of the year meant to him, or why he just couldn’t do it. 

 

When he reached the cemetery and stepped inside, the quiet seemed to settle around him.  For the first time all day, he felt a sense of calm.  There was different feeling there at night, something sort of like a presence he’d never noticed before.  He thought maybe there were some homeless people using the cemetery as their home, but he wasn’t bothered by it.  Stepping inside this space had always soothed his frazzled nerves and despite the sense of being watched, he still felt calm as he picked his way to Mary Winchester’s grave.  Upon reaching it he knelt down on the damp grass, not caring about the chill that slowly began sinking into his very bones as his jeans dampened.  He laid the flowers on the grave and reached down to touch the headstone.

 

“I’m here, Ma.  I miss you.  It’s been a pretty rough year, but I graduate soon.  I worked super hard, and I’m graduating early.  You’d be proud, I think.  Dad says you would be.  I worked super hard to make you proud.  I’m still working at the shop with Dad, but I got a scholarship to go to KSU, and he’s real proud of me, says I’ll go further than he ever has.  My stepmom, Kate, is really proud too.  She cried when I got the letter saying I got a full ride.  I’m not sure yet if that’s where I’m going to go though.  Dad says that when I leave to go, he’s giving me the car.  I’m getting the Impala, Ma.  But no matter where I go to school, I’m coming back to you.  There are several schools close by, including KSU, which is less than an hour away, so I’ll come back to visit, I promise.  When I’m done with school, I’ll be staying in the area. 

 

“So, I think I’ve decided what I want to do.  I mean, what I want to go to school for.  I’ll be going to school in two parts.  Since I got the scholarship to go to KSU, I think maybe I want to get my teaching degree.  Once I have it, I can get a teaching job up in Wichita.  I’ll still come back, Ma, don’t you worry.  Once I have the job teaching, I could pay my way through nursing school.  I want to be a nurse like you.  I’m going to aim to be a surgical nurse, but I have to look over the courses to see what all I need in order to become one, and what school I could go to for a degree in nursing.  I could teach history at one of the high schools, if I can actually get a job up there, or maybe I should get my master’s.  Or a Ph.D.?  I wish you were still here so I could ask you what I should do.”  His shoulders slumped and he stared at the ground.  Talking to his dad, or even Kate, was fine, but he really wished it was his mother that could advise him.

 

“You should get your doctorate.  It will give you the opportunity to teach at university level.  The income is better and then, if you still want to be a nurse, you can take the courses to become a nurse.”

 

Dean whipped his head around to see a man in a dark suit standing in the shadows.  His hands were buried in his pockets and his hair was blowing in the wind, making it look all crazy.  A soft smile graced his lips as he slowly approached.  The shadows were heavy now that night had fallen, so he couldn’t really see the man clearly.

 

“Who are you?”  Dean asked.

 

“My name is Castiel.  You can call me Cas, though.”

 

“Are you here visiting someone?”  the teenager wondered.  Cas cocked his head and looked back over his shoulder.

 

“You could say that.”

 

Dean frowned.  The man was being cryptic, but his advice was solid.  “You really think I should get my doctorate in history?”

 

“I think you could possibly attend school for both, if you wish to graduate sooner, but earning a doctorate in history will give you the chance to earn more money.  I’m not sure what a university professor earns now.  Perhaps it’s around six thousand?  Maybe a little more.  It’s a solid profession, and having the doctorate earns you more money.  You’ll need either a four- or six-year degree in nursing, I’m not sure how long it actually is, if your goal is to become a nurse.”

 

Dean pulled his phone out and Googled the requirements to become a surgical nurse.  He read through several articles and questions on the Google page before figuring out he’d make really good money if he did that.

 

“Says I can earn up to ninety-three thousand if I become a surgical nurse.”

 

Cas blinked and leaned in towards him.  “Are you being serious right now?”

 

Dean turned his phone around so he could see the screen.  Cas seemed shocked.

 

“I had no idea such a position paid that well.  You should definitely do that, it pays better than a professorship!”

 

Just for kicks, Dean Googled the income of a professor.  His eyebrows shot up at the amount earned.

 

“They can make like, a hundred thousand!”

 

Cas frowned.  “That’s impossible.  I only earned four thousand.”

 

“How could you only make four thousand?  That’s impossible, unless you mean a week.  I’m probably not going to earn as much as a nurse living here either, but I’d be doing good as a nurse.”  Dean looked down at his phone as he scrolled.  Teaching in a university paid really well, but he’d need to go to school twice as long, and he’d have to get a doctorate.  Didn’t that mean he had to write a syllabus or something?  He forgot the word, he just knew it was a really long paper.

 

“No, not per week, but you’d certainly be doing an important service as a nurse,”  Cas conceded.  “I feel as though I was woefully underpaid.”

 

“Was?  You mean you’re not a teacher anymore?”  Dean asked.  Cas’ expression turned sad.

 

“I haven’t taught in a very long time  I miss it.”

 

Cas didn’t look all that old, not that he could really tell with as dark out as it was.  He wondered why the man had stopped teaching. 

 

He turned back around to look at his mother’s grave.

 

“Mary Winchester, she was your mother?”  Cas asked.  Dean sniffled and nodded.

 

“She died when I was four.  My dad doesn’t come up here anymore, not since he remarried.  My stepmom is nice, but I miss my mom.”

 

“That’s understandable.  I was very upset when my mother passed away.  We were quite close.  I was closer with her than my father, but he was still a good father.  You said your mother was a nurse?  Did your father permit her to continue working once they were married?” 

 

Dean gaped at the man for a second.  “What?  What are you talking about?  My dad had no control over my mom.  She did what she wanted.  She’d still be doing what she wanted if she were alive.”

 

“And your stepmother?  She works too?”  Cas seemed disbelieving.  Dean didn’t know what to make of the man.

 

“Well, yeah.  She’s a lawyer.”

 

“A woman lawyer!  I don’t believe you!”  Cas began pacing and for a second, Dean thought the man might _actually_ be serious.

 

“Dude, you almost had me there.  Who sent you, Charlie?  Benny?”

 

Cas stopped pacing and looked at him in confusion.  “I’m sorry?  Who are those boys?”

 

Dean’s smile faded.  “Charlie’s a girl.”

 

“Who would name their daughter Charlie?  That’s a boy’s name.”

 

Dean got up and turned to face him.

 

“It’s not her real name, just a nickname.  Wait, so you mean they didn’t send you?”

 

“No one sent me, Dean.  I’m just…here.”

 

Dean frowned.  He had _definitely_ not told this man his name.

 

“How do you know my name?”

 

Cas looked past his shoulder at Mary’s headstone.  “Your mother told me.  You have a little brother, Sam.”

 

“You knew my mom?”

 

“For a little while I did, then she moved on,”  Cas sighed.

 

“Are you saying…you _dated_ my mother?”  Dean squinted.  He didn’t know who his mother had dated before she’d met his dad, but this guy looked too young for that.

 

“Oh, heavens no!  I simply knew her in a friendly capacity.  She was a very nice woman and loved you boys very much.”

 

Dean looked down at the headstone and flowers he had brought to place on the grave.  He still needed to pull the weeds around it, even if they’d be dying off soon. He always kept her grave clean.

 

“What was she like?  I don’t really remember much, but I knew she loved me.  I…saw her death.”

 

“I know, she told me.  It was a horrible thing that happened, dying like that.  They never caught her attackers.  All that for a diaper bag.  She’d been so scared for you and Sam.”

 

This guy was starting to make Dean really uncomfortable, but he was making him angry too.

 

“I don’t think you’re funny, man.  You don’t joke about my mom like that.  She died keeping me and Sammy safe.  Saying she talked to you _after_ she died is really fucking cruel.”

 

Cas tilted his head, studying his face for what felt like forever.

 

“That device that you found a nurse’s income on, what else does it do?  Does it have a light?”

 

“Of course it does.  It’s a _phone_ ,”  Dean sneered.

 

“Right, of course.  I assume that because you can see me, this must be Halloween night.  I’ve seen you at Mary’s grave many times, but you’ve never come at night before, so I could never talk to you.  Shine your light on me, and please, don’t be scared.”

 

Dean was even more freaked out now, but he pulled his phone back out and turned the flashlight on.  He was hesitant.  What if this guy was a nutcase?  Did nutcases hang out in cemeteries?  Maybe he was one of the homeless.  That was probably it.  But had this guy really known his mom?  Or had he been lying?  Slowly, he lifted the phone and shone the light on the man in front of him.  He nearly dropped it when he saw Cas’ face.

 

“Fuck!  Dude!  Who did your makeup?  You scared me for a second there!”  He clutched at his chest, where his heart was racing.  Cas looked pained by his reaction.

 

“There is no makeup, Dean.  I was lynched, hung from a tree until my neck snapped.  It was horrible, and it didn’t end as quickly as one might think.  Think I’m lying?  Touch my neck.”

 

Dean eyed the man.  This dude was nuttier than fruitcake, but he’d humor him.  He was bigger than the guy, and he knew how to fight if this guy got even weirder.  He rubbed his fingers together before reaching up to touch the ligature mark on Cas’ neck.  It didn’t _feel_ like makeup.  He pulled his fingers back and looked at the tips.  There was no paint on them. 

 

“What the hell?”

 

“You know, you swear an awful lot,”  Cas pointed out.  Dean looked up at him again, shining the light in his face a second time.  This wasn’t possible.  Cas looked like his hair had been styled before getting blown about in the night air, but it looked at least fifty years outdated, and upon closer observation, the suit was outdated too.  Cas’ eyes were whited out, and at first he’d believed the man to be either blind or wearing contacts, but it was the bruises on his face and what looked to be a broken cheekbone, and the strangulation marks on his neck, that made him suddenly scared. 

 

“This can’t be real.”

 

“I assure you, it is.  I’m only permitted out once a year.  The last I checked, this was the year 1983.  Is that still accurate?” 

 

Dean shook his head and staggered a few feet back.  Cas pulled a hand out of his pocket and held it up.

 

“Please don’t go, you’re the first person I’ve gotten to talk to since I died.”

 

Dean gaped at him again.  “ _Died?_ ”

 

“Yes.  In September of 1945.”

 

“Nineteen forty…,”  Dean shook his head again.  He couldn’t wrap his brain around what he was seeing, or what he was hearing.

 

“I tell you, I died in September of that year.  I have no idea what is going on in the world anymore, except apparently men can now be nurses, and women can work outside the home without needing their husband’s consent.  It’s all I’ve been able to glean from our brief conversation.  Could you maybe tell me what else is going on in the world?”

 

Dean blinked rapidly as he still tried to process all of this. 

 

“You’re dead.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Like for real, dead.”

 

“I am.”  Cas nodded.

 

“You say you were lynched?”  Dean asked.

 

“Yes, in Salisbury, Kansas, September 19th, 1945.”

 

He was trying really hard not to panic as he pulled Google up on his phone again and looked up lynches in Salisbury.  There were seven, but only one white man.  The name on the screen stared back at him.

 

_Castiel James Novak_

 

There was a black and white picture to go with the Wikipedia story, and it was the man standing in front of him.

 

“Holy shit!”

 

“Did your stepmother raise you with such a filthy mouth?”  Cas chided.  Dean snapped his mouth shut and shot the man a dirty look.  His fear from before turned to annoyance. 

 

“I’m standing in front of a ghost; I think I’m allowed to swear.”

 

“I am not a ghost.  Not tonight, anyway.”

 

“So what, you get to walk around the cemetery on Halloween night?  Do you know how cliché that is?”  Dean asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

 

“I don’t know how it can possibly be cliché, but it’s the truth.”

 

“Ok, so why are you here?  Why haven’t you gone to like, heaven, or whatever?  Why are you haunting a cemetery?”

 

“I’m not exactly haunting it, I’m just trapped in the place where my body is.  I can’t leave because my remains are here.  Once a year, from sundown to sunup on October 31st I’m permitted to become flesh and blood again.  Granted, I look like I did when I died, but I’m still able to come back.  People don’t exactly frequent this cemetery, and certainly not at night.  As I said before, you’re the first person I’ve seen here, save for the caretaker, since I died.  I’d like to know a few things, if that’s alright.”  Cas took a step closer, but Dean instinctively took a step back.

 

“Dean, I won’t hurt you.  I was never a violent person,”

 

“Why’d you get lynched then?  Usually white men only got hung like that if they’d, like, hurt little kids and stuff.  Why’d you get killed?”

 

Cas sighed and looked down at the grass.  It was starting to die with winter just around the corner.

 

“I never hurt a child.  I had a beautiful daughter of my own, and I would _never_ have hurt her.  I’d have killed anyone that even tried.  I had a wife, a house, and a job teaching at Kansas State University.  My life wasn’t perfect, but I lived in a hostile state during a different time.  I’m assuming that if men are seeking careers in nursing rather than being doctors and women can work _and_ have an accepting husband and raise children, then much has changed in the world.  Am I correct?”

 

Slowly, Dean nodded.  “Yeah, a lot has changed since 1945.  For one, we don’t lynch people anymore.  Black people have equal rights, they share our schools, our workplaces, they eat in the same restaurants, ride the buses with us and they sit where they want.  My friend Victor is black.  He’s a great guy, he’s on the football team with me.”

 

“Really, that’s wonderful.  I was always accepting of everyone, but many people I knew were not. What about marriage? Do people still get married?” 

 

Dean eyed him before nodding.  “Sure.  My parents were married.  People my age usually don’t, but marriage isn’t looked at the same as it was years ago.”

 

“And do you wish to get married?  When you’re older, of course.”

 

Dean shrugged.  “I don’t know, maybe?  If I found the right person, and they wanted to get married, I’d consider it.”

 

Cas nodded as he listened.  “Do you have a lady friend?

 

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes.  “We don’t say ‘lady friend.’  It would be girlfriend, and no.  I had one last year, but I’m more concerned with graduating high school, and then getting through college.  I don’t have time for girlfriends, or boyfriends.”

 

Cas held a finger up.  “Wait, did you say…boyfriends?”

 

“I did.  Still want me to talk to you?  You better get used to the fact that most people nowadays are not homophobic asshats.  They’re accepting, even here, in Kansas.  Sure, some people are dicks, but I don’t talk to people like that.  People can marry whoever they want, too, except maybe that might stop now that Trump is in office.  He’s an asshole.”

 

Cas rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he listened.

 

“So, you’re saying…homosexuals…are accepted in today’s society?”

 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

 

A choked sob escaped Cas’ throat, and Dean raised an eyebrow when the man began to openly cry.

 

“You ok?”

 

“No, I believe I am not ‘ok.’  I- I was lynched for being a homosexual.”

 

“Whoa.”  Dean felt bad for the guy.  The reason he’d been lynched hadn’t been in the Wiki article.  “So, you’re gay?  Or _were_ gay?”

 

“I am.  Was.  Oh, this death thing is so confusing.”  Cas sniffled and wiped at his face. 

 

“I thought you had a wife and a little girl?”

 

“I did, but I didn’t love her.  My parents expected me to get married, start a family, and hold up the family name.  I had no choice in the matter, and I was not permitted to remain a bachelor.  So, I met Amelia at church.  She was pleasant, and we began seeing one another.  Six months later, we were married in that very church.  I loathed having sex with her, and just having our daughter, Claire, took us two years.  She wanted more children but…I just couldn’t give them to her. 

 

“I was secretly seeing a man before I met Amelia.  His name was Gadreel, and he went to our church.  He got married around the same time I did; it was as expected of him as my marriage was of me.  We…continued to see one another, even after we were married.  I loved him, and I believed he loved me too.”  Cas sighed heavily and sat back against a nearby headstone.  “He’s the reason I was lynched.  We got caught and he lied, said I was a homosexual that was coming on to him, but that he was a happily married man.  I was dragged out to a corn field where there was a tree.  Others had been hung from that tree in years past, and I was too.  I don’t know what became of Gad, but I hope he didn’t lead a happy life.”

 

“What was his last name?”  Dean asked.

 

“Gadreel Foster.  He was thirty nine in 1945.”

 

Dean typed the name into Google, and after a few minutes he found someone with that name.  It wasn’t a very common name, so he figured it had to be the right guy.

 

“Ok, if this is the same guy, he died in 1982.  It doesn’t say how.”

 

Cas let out a choked sob and for a minute, Dean thought he was sad, but then he realized the man was furious.  He was shaking his fists as he let out a cry of anguish.

 

“Because of him, I died!  He got to live a full, happy life, and I was _murdered_!”

 

Dean genuinely felt sorry for him.  It really wasn’t fair.

 

“Let me see if I can find a death record of some kind.” 

 

He typed away on his phone some more until he had managed to find Gadreel’s family tree on Ancestry.com. 

 

“Wait, I found something.”

 

Cas wiped angrily at his face again.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Looks like he died of cancer.  Left behind a wife, six kids, and twenty grandchildren.  Was his mother’s name Myra?”

 

“Yes, that was her name.”  Cas came around to stand beside Dean so he could see the screen.  “What is this that you can find out how he died?”

 

“Well, back in your time, there were newspapers.  Now, we have computers, and more importantly, we have phones.  Now, phones have computers built in, and we can find just about anything on them.  I just had to look around.  I saw earlier when I was reading about your murder that they caught three men that were later found guilty.  They were all executed.  One was a Bartholomew Foster.  Is that Gadreel’s brother or something?”

 

“Bastard!”  Cas snarled.  “That _was_ his brother!”

 

“So it looks like he was protecting Gadreel.  Best way to do that was to get rid of you.”

 

Cas began pacing again.  “Of course, he probably set it up himself, arranged for Bart to catch us, so I would get in trouble.  Does it say for what reason I was murdered?  I’d hate to think my daughter knew why I’d been killed.”

 

“What was her full name?”  Dean asked.

 

“Claire Elizabeth Novak.”

 

Dean went back to typing away on his phone as he looked for anyone with that name.  “What year was she born?”

 

“She was six when I died.  August thirteenth, 1939.”

 

It took some searching, and coming across several similarly named people before he found the right one.

 

“Ok, so I found her.  She’s still alive, actually.  She married, her name is now Claire…Foster.”

 

“Are you being glib?  You’re telling me she married one of Gadreel’s sons?!”

 

Dean had to do some backtracking to see who Claire married, and if he was one of Gadreel’s offspring.

 

“Oh, no, she didn’t marry one of his sons.  She met a man named Edward Foster when she went to school in California.  They married in 1962 and…oh, their first son was named Castiel.  I don’t think she knew, or if she did, she didn’t care that you were gay.  She loved you.”

 

A sad smile ghosted over the man’s lips.

 

“She named her first son after me?  Really?”

 

“She had five kids, Castiel, Edward Junior, Elizabeth, Margaret, and John.  She has a lot of grandkids.  Like, nineteen, and counting.  Castiel had four of his own, it looks like,” Dean replied.

 

“How are you learning this information?  It’s just there to find on your phone?”

 

“I went to the ancestry site again.  Her daughter Margaret has a paid membership.  I can look cause my stepmom has one too, and I have the password.”  Dean looked up to see a confused look on the man’s face.  “But you don’t know what any of that means.  It doesn’t matter anyway.  Just know that she had a large family, and she is still married to Edward. Your wife though, she remarried in 1946.  Gee, she didn’t wait at all, did she?” he said dryly. 

 

“What was his name?”  Cas asked.

 

“Martin Caldwell.  Name ring a bell?”

 

Cas shook his head.  “No, not at all.”

 

“Well, they went on to have four kids.  Looks like she died in 1961.  Notes Margaret made say she died of cirrhosis of the liver.  Did she have a drinking problem?”

 

“Well, she liked wine.  She’d drink when she was frustrated with me, when I wouldn’t take her to bed.  I didn’t think it was a problem though,”  Cas replied.  Dean shrugged.

 

“Apparently it became one.”

 

Cas sighed, his shoulders slumping.  “I feel bad about that.  I feel like I caused her to start drinking.”

 

“Drinking was her problem.  You didn’t put the glass in her hand, did you?”

 

“Of course not,”  Cas scoffed.

 

“Then it was on her that she developed a drinking problem.  Obviously her second husband didn’t bother to get her help.  If he had, she might still be alive.  Unlikely, but maybe.”

 

“Why do you say unlikely?”  Cas looked up at him and in the light from the phone, Dean could see how milky the man’s eyes were, and that they were definitely _not_ contacts.  It was…disturbing.  It was crazy that he was standing here talking to a dead guy, but it was also fascinating.  Who else could say they’d done that?

 

“Because of when she lived.  She’d be like, a hundred now.”

 

“What year is this?”  Cas asked.

 

“It’s 2018,”  Dean replied.

 

“Oh, that’s…that’s many more years than I realized had passed.”

 

“Yeah, which is why she’d be over a hundred now.” 

 

“Oh, I suppose you’re right,”  Cas paced a few feet away and looked out over the cemetery. 

 

“Where are you buried?”  Dean asked.  Cas pointed to a mausoleum along the back fence.

 

“It’s a family plot, except my family isn’t all there.  It’s why I’m still here.  I needed to know what happened to my daughter, but I also still need to know what happened to my sister, Anna.”  He turned back to face Dean.  “You see, after my parents passed away, it was up to me to take care of my sister.  Anna was…special.  The term back then was retarded.  Is that still the correct term?”

 

“God, no.  If you call someone retarded, you’re insulting them.  She was special needs.  Mentally handicapped?  Maybe the term is developmentally challenged.  All I know is that the term is _not_ retarded,” Dean explained.

 

“Anna couldn’t talk.  She liked playing with dolls, even though she was twenty-seven.  I indulged her, and Amelia seemed to tolerate her, though more than once she tried to get me to send her up to the Moorestown Sanitarium.  I refused.  I knew what happened to people when they ended up there.  They never got out, and they were essentially tortured while they were there.  It was a filthy, disgusting place.  I humored my wife and did a tour there shortly after we were married, but one walk around that place and I knew I could never send Anna there.  I kept her at home, and Amelia watched over her while I worked.  She was always patient with my sister, though I wouldn’t exactly call her kind.  Still, Anna was a good girl, never hurting anyone, never being mean, and when Claire was born, she wanted to share her dolls.  I thought that was the sweetest thing.  See, Anna didn’t let anyone touch her dolls.  If they did, she’d scream and cry and it would take hours to calm her back down.  I learned quickly to leave them alone and by the time I met my wife, I had warned her too not to touch them.  But Anna put her favorite doll in Claire’s cradle, and I knew she was accepting the baby.  It made me happy.”

 

Cas started pacing again, slowly this time.  “I don’t know what became of her after I died.  Did Amelia keep taking care of her?  Did she send her up to Moorestown?  She’s not buried with my parents and myself.  Neither is Amelia.  Is it possible my sister’s still alive?”

 

Dean shook his head as he shrugged.

 

“I have no idea.  It’s possible, but she’d have had to be really well taken care of.”

 

“On that phone, does Margaret have Anna’s information?”  Cas was back at his side, looking over his shoulder as Dean went back to Ancestry.com. 

 

“It only has your parents, you, your marriage to Amelia, her second husband, Claire, and then the four kids by Martin.  There’s no mention of Anna.”

 

“What on earth happened to her?”  Cas wondered.  “I can’t find this information on my own.  Do you think you can find her?  Would one of those computers you talked about before have her information?”

 

“Well, whatever information I can find on a computer, I can also find on my phone.  Anna’s just not on Ancestry, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t records of her somewhere.  I can try and look around, see what I find,”  Dean offered.

 

“Thank you, thank you so much!  I won’t return until October thirty first of next year, though.  Will you be here?  Can you come back?”

 

“I can arrange to come back after sunset,”  Dean replied.

 

Cas clasped his hands together and pressed them to his lips before smiling.  Despite his creepy eyes and fractured cheekbone, he was a nice looking guy.  Well, he _had_ been a nice looking guy.

 

“So who’s buried in the mausoleum?  Just your mom, dad, and you?  That’s it?”

 

“And my father’s parents.  My mother’s are buried here too, but not with us.  The entire north end are Novaks and Kellys.  I saw that they expanded the cemetery some years back, and where we’re standing now is a newer part.  I can’t keep track of the years, so I’m not sure when it was added, but it was at least twenty years after I died.”

 

Dean tucked his phone away again, casting Cas back into the shadows that had hidden his true state before.  The only light there was now was the moon and a few street lamps just outside the perimeter of the cemetery.

 

“Did you say you talked to my mom before?”

 

“Oh, yes, I knew her.  She spoke so fondly of you and your brother, it felt like I knew you both.  She was unable to cross over until she knew you were both safe and happy.  It was probably about the time your father remarried that she finally was able to move on.  I believe you must have come that year and told her that you had a stepmother.  She believed this woman would care for you and Sam like you were hers.  She said your father would never choose a woman that couldn’t love his sons like her own.  I believe she stayed maybe one more year, possibly two, until she heard from you, or maybe it was her husband, that you and Sam were doing well, and that you were happy.  That was what she needed to be able to move on.  It’s why I took a chance tonight and approached you.  Mary said you were very smart, and that you were a good person.  I thought maybe you could help me find out what had happened to my daughter and my sister. 

 

“I am very happy that Claire is doing well and has lived a long, happy life, but I need to know what happened to Anna.  Unfinished business leaves a person trapped, unable to move on.  There are others here, but they don’t approach the living.  They’re scared.”  Cas motioned towards the shadowy areas of the cemetery and when Dean focused, he realized he could see other people; the ones he’d thought were homeless.  It actually scared him.  Cas was already more than he could handle.

 

“You can only come out after dark?”

 

“Yes, starting at sunset,”  Cas replied.

 

“How is this even possible?  This is some horror movie craziness.  I don’t know how you’re here, talking to me, or how you feel like flesh and blood right now,”  Dean poked him again, grinning when Cas flinched and pulled away.  Apparently in this state, he could feel pain too.

 

“I don’t know how it works, it just does.  I’m not sure if it’s in every cemetery, or if it’s just this one.  All I do know is that if there is unfinished business, a person cannot cross over.  I suppose I don’t really need to cross over just yet.  Who am I going there to be with?  Certainly not Amelia, and definitely not Gadreel.  I’d likely scratch his eyes out if I saw him again.  My daughter and my sister are all I cared about when I was alive.  Until I know they’re both there, I can wait.”

 

“Well, I’ll try to see what I can find out about Anna.  It might take some time to dig up the information you’re looking for, especially with this school year ending.  I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, so I applied to Tredmont Nursing School, just in case.  I got an acceptance letter, so I think that’s where I’ll go, instead of KSU.  I don’t really want to go through all that time to be a professor, just to turn around and go _back_ to school to be a nurse.  Both schools are in Kansas City, so it’ll be the same time to drive back.  I’ll probably keep living at home until school is over; my folks said I can. I have to balance school with looking for your sister, so don’t get your hopes up by this time next year.  I have to track down your wife, see where she lived after you died, and see if there are any records of Anna,” Dean warned.  He genuinely wanted to help Cas out, but he had to search for records for a person that seemed to have disappeared from existence after Cas’ death.

 

“If you find out anything, anything at all, please come to the Novak mausoleum.  I won’t be there in person, obviously, but I will hear you talking to me, and when October thirty first comes, I can meet you here.  It would be nice to have you visit, even if you don’t have information about Anna.  No one has visited in a very long time.  It gets lonely,”  Cas admitted. 

 

Dean made up his mind that he would come and visit Cas too when he came to visit his mom’s grave.  No one should go without having their resting place visited by the people that cared about them when they were alive.  That no one came to visit Cas was sad.  He felt lonely on the guy’s behalf.  It made him angry to think this kind man had been hung, simply for being gay.  The 1940s were a much different time.

 

“Well, I can’t stay too much longer tonight, my dad will come looking for me if I’m out past like, eleven, but next year?  I’ll be eighteen, and he can’t tell me I need to come back at a certain time.  I might have to visit twice that day because Sam will want to come with me.  He came earlier, right after school, otherwise he’d be here with me tonight.  Next year I’ll come with him earlier in the day, and then that night, I’ll come back alone.”

 

“We can stay in the mausoleum.  It’s not very big, but it’s better than sitting out here in the bitter cold.  This year isn’t that bad, but next year might be,”  Cas said.

 

“Well, let me at least walk you back,”  Dean offered.  Cas smiled softly and nodded.

 

“Alright.”

 

They crossed the cemetery, guided by the flashlight on Dean’s phone, and when they reached the mausoleum, Cas pulled the iron gates open.  Behind that there was a set of doors, and he opened them next.  He stepped inside and turned to face Dean.

 

“Thank you for walking me…I guess I should say, home, as this is where I have lived for some sixty odd years.”

 

Dean shined the flashlight up at him and gasped.

 

“What?  What is it?”  Cas worried.

 

“You’re… _you_!  Like, no white eyes, no cuts or broken cheekbone, and no strangulation marks!  Your eyes are so blue!”

 

Cas smiled and reached up to touch his throat.  “I never noticed before! No one ever said that inside the crypt my body would be whole again.”

 

“Maybe it has to do with being close to your remains?  Next year, we’ll talk in there instead of out here.  I like seeing you like this.  Plus it’s a lot less creepy,”  Dean suggested.  Cas dropped his hands and looked at him with one eyebrow arched.

 

“You find me creepy?”

 

“Your eyes are solid white.  That’s the creepy part.  Otherwise, I was sort of getting used to it.  I’m not scared easily.”

 

“I swear I wasn’t trying to scare you,”  Cas apologized.  “I’m so sorry that I did.  I had no idea my eyes were white.  I can see how that would be quite frightening.”

 

Dean checked his watch.  It was getting close to the time his dad would start calling, wondering where he was.

 

“I have to go, but I’ll try to come back more often and I’ll stop by to see you too.”

 

“That would be nice, I look forward to your visits.  Please be safe going home.”  Cas took another step into the mausoleum and looked around.  He just looked so sad.  Dean decided he would try to make the man’s time spent stuck on this plane a little less boring.

 

“I will.  I’ll see you soon, Cas.”

 

Cas nodded and watched as Dean closed the doors, and then the iron gates.  The windows on the doors were so covered with grime that he couldn’t see Cas inside, and yet he knew the man was just on the other side, no doubt with a hand on the door, wishing he was back out there with him.  With a heavy sigh he left the cemetery and started the walk home.  Sure enough, just before he reached his block, his dad called.  He was glad his parents cared as much as they did. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean searched for Anna Novak.  He searched all year long, whenever he had the time, but it turned up nothing.  He figured that it was because he was young and didn’t know exactly what he was looking for.  Records for places like the Moorestown Sanitarium were just gone, and the place was now an apartment complex, the original building having been gutted and first turned into a hotel in the sixties, then in 1987, remodeled and turned into the apartment complex it was now.  Everywhere he looked, he came upon roadblock after roadblock.  Anna Novak seemed to have just…vanished.

 

He stopped at the cemetery though, with more and more frequency.  He’d never noticed before, but there was a sense of being watched.  It wasn’t creepy though.  When he’d step into the Novak mausoleum, he could feel Cas, and he knew the man was listening.  He let him know the things had learned, like the fact that the sanitarium had been shut down in 1968, but also that the records were gone, and he had no idea who had them anymore.  It was discouraging, but he wanted to help Cas cross over, and that meant he needed to keep looking.

 

The following Halloween, after sitting at his mother’s gravesite, he made his way to the mausoleum.  With the sun setting, he made his way inside to find Cas standing by the window at the back of the room.  Briefly Dean wondered why they even put windows in a mausoleum.  When he entered, Cas turned to look at him, smiling softly.

 

“Hello, Dean.”

 

“Hey, Cas.  I’d ask how you’ve been, but I guess I already know,”  Dean said cheekily.  Cas chuckled and crossed the small room, coming to stand in front of him.

 

“Ha ha, very amusing,” he said dryly.

 

“I brought something.  It’s not much, but sitting in a dark mausoleum is kind of creepy, so I brought light.”  Dean set down the duffel bag he had brought with and began taking out the electric lanterns he’d filled with fresh batteries.  He started setting them around the room as Cas watched with interest.

 

“What are these?  How is it possible to have electric light without a cord?”  He picked one of the lanterns up and turned it around in his hands, marveling over it.

 

“It’s battery operated.  They won’t last all night, I don’t think, but I brought extra batteries. I just, I wanted there to be light so we can see each other, but also so I can show you what I found out. It’s not much, but it’s something.” 

 

Cas set the lantern down, and when Dean sat on the floor and reached into the duffel bag again, he joined him, pulling his pants up a bit so he was able to cross his legs.

 

“What did you find?  Something about Anna?”

 

“Sort of.  I still can’t find the records from Moorestown, but I learned that Amelia and Martin bought a house in Wichita, and only Claire was with them.  Anna did not join them in Wichita, so Amelia put Anna somewhere before they reached Wichita, or else she did right after they got there.  I’m thinking it was before, because she didn’t meet Martin in Kansas at all.  So sometime between your death and meeting Martin, she put Anna somewhere.  It likely has to be somewhere local, and soon after your death.”

 

He handed the documents he’d been able to find over and watched as Cas read them.

 

“This is a census report?”  Cas asked.

 

“It’s census reports for 1940, and then again in 1950.  But there’s some other documents I dug up too, like the church directory, birth and death records, and some other stuff.  I did some digging, and this is the Novak-Caldwell house.  You’ll see that you listed yourself, Amelia, and Claire in ’45 in the church directory where you attended, but in ’46, Amelia’s name changed to Crandall, and she showed up in another church directory, and there are three people listed, one of them being Martin.  I think…she did something with Anna immediately after your death.  I can’t find anyone to ask if your sister was at your wake or not, they’re all dead.  Calling Claire is pointless, she was only six when it happened, and it’s doubtful she’d remember.  Plus, I think she’d be freaked out if some kid came asking her about her dead dad.”  Dean scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed.  “Do you want me to go to her?”

 

“No, no I don’t.  If we can keep my daughter out of this, I’d prefer that.  Can I see your portable phone?  I’ve seen you using something called Goggle, and I would like to try looking some things up,”  Cas asked.

 

Dean chuckled as he pulled his phone out.  “It’s called a cell phone, not a portable phone, and it’s Google, not Goggle.”

 

“Why is it called that?”  Cas asked as he accepted the phone.

 

“Well, the full word is cellular phone, but no one calls it that anymore.  Most people don’t have house phones anymore, they just have cell phones.  Here, you press the bar on the screen and then use the keyboard to type in your question.”  Dean walked him through typing on the phone and watched as he entered the question he wanted to ask.  “Where is Anna Novak?”

 

“That’s not going to give you the answer you want,”  Dean warned.  The resulting answers were exactly what Dean expected, but Cas was busy reading through all of them.

 

“These are not your Anna Novak,”  Dean told him.

 

“How can you be sure?”

 

“Because articles like this only pull up that name in the recent history.  Now, I’ve already paid to get a hold of census reports from the ’40’s, but Anna simply disappeared after 1945.  I’m going to keep looking for her, but…I don’t know if I can find her.”  Dean hated the sad look on the other man’s face. 

 

“But, if you don’t find her…,”

 

Dean placed a hand on the other man’s shoulder.  “Cas, I’m not giving up, ok?  I’m going to keep looking,”

 

Cas sniffled and wiped tears from his eyes.  “Thank you, Dean.”

 

“No problem, Cas.”

 

Cas took a deep breath, something Dean found interesting, since he was dead.  Why did he need to breathe?

 

“So, what has been going on in your life since last we talked?”

 

Dean smiled.  “I started at nursing school.  The classes are hard, but I’m handling them ok.  My folks are helping me with studying, and my little brother is too.  So far, I’ve scored almost perfect on every test and assignment.  Unfortunately, I have four years of this ahead of me,”

 

Cas laughed and his smile widened.  “Yes, well, such is college.  I went to a university for much longer than just six years, but that was during a time when I could afford to pay a college tuition, work, _and_ have a family.  I was at about the middle of my college career when my parents began pressuring me to find a wife.  I was twenty seven when I married her.  I’d already been in school for nine years at that point.  I barely courted her before my parents were pushing for me to marry her, so…I did. 

 

“My education was important to me, and when I finally finished, I took on a position at Kansas State as an associate professor.  It was a good income, at least, for back then.  It afforded me the opportunity to buy a house, and to have a nice wedding.  Then my parents died.  My father first, of a heart attack, then my mother two months later.  She couldn’t live without him, or so everyone seemed to believe.  I refused to let Anna be put away, so I brought her to live with us.  I was able to support my family, and when Claire came, I was happy to be a father.  She was beautiful and perfect, and worth all of the hard work I’d put in. 

 

“You’ll have that one day.  You will find the person you want to spend your life with, but not until you’ve finished school and established your career.  Don’t let anyone, especially your family, push you into things you’re not ready for.  If they start bringing up the idea of settling down, tell them you have to work on you first, and getting your career going before you can think of such things.”

 

Dean listened, hearing what he was saying.  He was only eighteen, but his stepmother was already pointing him in the direction of pretty girls, talking about the day he found “the one,” like the idea of him settling down (if he ever even decided he wanted that) with a man was inconceivable.  But the fact that she was even talking about it when he was still a teenager was something that made him angry.  Why would they even suggest such a thing when he was still practically just a baby himself? 

 

“My stepmom is already trying that.  I’ve told her to stop; I’m not interested in even dating right now.  Plus, what’s so wrong if I want a guy to settle down with?  My folks don’t like that idea, but I don’t really care what they like, it’s my life, I’ll date when I want, and who I want.  I’ll work on my career because that’s what’s important to me right now.  From there I’ll figure out the rest of my life.  You’re right, though, I’ll talk to them about backing off and leaving me alone.  My dad’s almost as bad as her,”  Dean picked at an imperfection in his pants as he talked.  “I kind of don’t see myself settling down with a woman anyway.”

 

Cas listened quietly until he was finished.

 

“Then don’t.  Make your life yours.  I know this is just advice from a dead guy, and I’ve been absent from the world for a long time, but I do believe that parents should give their children room to breathe.  I wish I’d told my parents to let me be.  I really would have been happy as a bachelor.  Perhaps I’d still be alive if they’d have just let me be.”

 

They talked until the early hours of the morning, and when the sun started coming up, Dean watched as Cas began to shimmer.

 

“Please come to visit me,”  Cas begged as he reached out for Dean’s hand.  He choked back a sob as he realized he could no longer touch him.

 

“I will, Cas, I promise.  I’ll keep coming.”  Dean watched as Cas seemed to flicker, and then he was gone.  But not really, Dean knew he was still there, he could feel his presence.

 

“I’ll be back next week, Cas, and I won’t give up on finding Anna either.”

 

As the sun rose high in the morning sky he packed up the lanterns, the papers he’d managed to gather, and quietly exited the mausoleum.  He had another year to try and find Anna Novak. 


	3. Chapter 3

Dean searched for years for Anna Novak.  He finished college and still couldn’t find her.  His visits to see his mother and to visit Cas held steady, and a lot of his studying was done while sitting on the floor of the mausoleum.  He told Cas about the courses he was taking, about his search for Anna, and for his new position at the hospital.  Each passing year, his visits on Halloween became something he looked forward to.  It was bittersweet because he just could not locate Anna, no matter how hard he tried, but he’d come to look forward to his time spent each year with Cas.  Every time he saw the man, Cas always asked how he was doing since the last time he’d come to visit, and if he was seeing someone. 

 

When Dean turned thirty six, he came to see Cas again.  It was bittersweet for other reasons.  He carried with him his usual duffel bag, but he also carried another bag.  His heart ached as he stepped inside the mausoleum, and he couldn’t fight the tears.  It was still late afternoon, not time yet for Cas to take physical form, but he knew the man was watching, wondering why he was so emotional.  Their time together had come to have significant meaning for him, and somewhere along the line, despite only getting to talk to the man once a year in person, despite there not being any possibility of them having a future together, he had come to care very much for Cas.  He was reluctant to use the “L” word, but that’s what it was. 

 

As the sun began to set, he wiped the tears from his eyes and prepared himself.  The moment Cas appeared, he jumped forward, grabbing Dean’s face.

 

“What’s wrong?  Why are you crying?”

 

Dean sniffled and pushed his hand away.  “I can’t, I-”

 

“Talk to me, Dean.  You were sad when you came last week, and the week before that.  Something is clearly going on.  What is it?”

 

“It doesn’t matter.  I don’t matter, not in the grand scheme of things,”

 

“That is not true, Dean.  You’ve helped me, been both helpful and caring when I was here alone.  You’ve provided friendship-”

 

“Right, friendship.”  Dean threw his hands up in the air, ignoring the confused look he was getting.

 

“Dean?  I’m at a loss here, what is going on?”

 

“I am going to miss you _so_ fucking much!”  Dean wiped furiously at his eyes again.  Cas ducked down until he could look him in the eye.

 

“Dean, are you saying you found Anna?”

 

Dean groaned and leaned back against the wall where the Novaks were entombed.  He looked up at the ceiling.  The light was quickly dimming, but he didn’t feel it was necessary to set up the lanterns.

 

“Yes, I found her.” 

 

Cas looked at him in shock for a good thirty seconds before he stepped forward and took Dean’s face between his hands again.

 

“Dean, why are you crying then?”

 

“Because I won’t ever get to see you again, or-or hear your voice, or-”

 

His words were cut off when Cas kissed him.  He let out a squawk before grabbing the front of the man’s jacket and clinging to it for dear life. 

 

“You’re telling me you have feelings for me?”  Cas asked.

 

“Yeah, pretty fucking intense ones too,”

 

“Even knowing I could never leave this room?”

 

Dean wiped again at the tears that just wouldn’t stop falling.  “Even if I only got to see you once a year.  I don’t know when exactly it happened, but it did.  Coming and talking to you, sharing my life, getting to know you like I have, how could I not fall for you?”

 

“Oh, Dean, sweet, sweet, Dean,”

 

“Dude, it sounds weird when you say my name like that.”  Dean gave a small laugh while Cas smiled.

 

“I love saying your name.  I say it often, even when you can’t hear me.  I dream of this night every year, where you can hear me say your name, and I can see you looking at me. 

 

“For a long time I didn’t want to feel anything about you either, Dean.  I mean, you’re alive, I obviously can’t make you happy,”

 

“You do make me happy though.  I mean, I _tried_ dating, but I couldn’t, no one listened or cared, not like you.  Figures I’d hold the men I dated to the standards of a dead man,”  Dean joked.  Cas chuckled before reaching up to wipe more tears off his face.

 

“The men I had relations with when I was alive, none were as wonderful as you are, Dean.  Gad didn’t hold a candle to you, in looks or in personality.  I admit, I have had to learn how to listen to the workings of the world since I lived in it, but I’m not exactly ready to leave it.”

 

Dean frowned.  “But, I found Anna.”

 

“Yes, but you’re here,”  Cas countered.

 

“Cas, don’t make me your unfinished business.  If and when I die, you wouldn’t know, because I’ll be buried out there with my mom.  I don’t want to be the thing that keeps you here.  I need you to like, be waiting for me, when it’s my turn to cross over.”  Dean tugged on Cas’ jacket again.  How the hell did he fall in love with a ghost?  After all these years he still wasn’t sure whether that’s what the man was.

 

“You won’t be, but that doesn’t mean I want to leave.  If my unfinished business is…finished, I don’t get to stay.  As much as I want to know where Anna is, or at least, what became of her, I’m not ready to give you up, Dean.”  Cas sighed.  “I wish I could get out of here, take you on a real date.  It’s not fair.  I finally find the one person I could see myself spending my life with and he was born what, fifty six years after I died?  It’s not fair.”

 

He stroked his thumb over Dean’s cheek.  The mausoleum was now so dark he couldn’t see Dean’s face clearly. 

 

“Where are those lanterns of yours?  We could really use them right now.”

 

Dean reached into the duffel bag and began pulling the lanterns out.  He’d upgraded several times over the years and these were bought brand new for tonight, but that was before he’d found Anna…

 

His heart ached all over again as he set them up.  These were brighter, filling the room with more light than any of the previous ones he had brought before.  As soon as he stood up again, Cas was back in his space, caressing his cheek.

 

“Oh, I couldn’t see the freckles before.  Dean, you’re quite possibly the most handsome fellow I’ve ever seen in my life.”

 

Dean blushed at the compliment, but it still brought a smile to his face.

 

“You’re gorgeous, Cas.”

 

“Except when I leave this place and step out into the cemetery itself, then I’m a nightmare.”  Cas frowned, but Dean kissed it off his face.  This was something he wanted a lifetime of, and thinking about how he’d never get it again after tonight made his heart ache even more.

 

“I got used to it.  It doesn’t detract from how beautiful you were when you were alive, and how you still are when we are in here.”

 

“You flatter me, but I appreciate it.  I wish there was a way I could stay with you.  I don’t want to leave.”  Cas leaned into him until Dean brought his arms up and held him tight. 

 

“I don’t want you to leave either,”  Dean confessed.  “But you can’t stay.  You’ve already suffered so much, from being wrongly killed to losing your sister and daughter.  You never should have had any of that taken from you.  I think, had we been alive at the same time, even if it was the ’40’s, I’d have fallen in love with you.  You’re everything I ever wanted.  It’s not fair that we were born so far apart.”

 

“I agree.  I can’t imagine that this would be our last time together.  It feels so final.  Will you promise me something?”  Cas pulled back so he could look at him.

 

“I’d do anything for you, Cas.” 

 

“I want you to get on with your life.  Fall in love with someone else, have a family, just…be happy.  I don’t want to go wherever I am supposed to go when I leave here and if there is a heaven, to sit there, looking down at you and seeing you unhappy.  We will be together again, I’m sure of it.  I’ll be waiting for you, and when your time comes, I’ll come and bring you home. 

 

“My mother said that before she died, she saw her own mother.  She lay in bed after my father died and just a few days before her own death, I overheard her talking to someone.  When I entered her bedroom to make sure she was alright, she said her mother had just been there to visit her, and that she told her she was waiting for her.  She said my father was there too.  At the time I thought it was part of how sick she’d gotten after my father passed away, but now?  I know we get the chance to come and collect the ones we love. 

 

 

“I will come for you, bring you home.  I’ll be there with Mary, and with your father.  Maybe even your stepmother.  I know you had them both buried here, but I’ve seen neither of them, so I know they had no unfinished business.  They already crossed over.  I wish you that kind of peace, and for you to have no unfinished business when your time comes.  I’ll be waiting patiently.  I waited my whole life and most of my death for you.  I can wait a little longer.”

 

Dean hated how much this hurt, and how freely his tears were flowing tonight.  The ache in his chest was worse than anything he’d ever experienced.

 

“I don’t know that I can do that, Cas.  I feel like, you’re my epic love, and I don’t know if I could ever love someone as much as I love you.”

 

“You should have children.  They’ll bring you incredible joy.  Even if you don’t think you can be with someone, you deserve to have children.  They’ll give you focus, and your heart will hurt less.  I won’t take it personally if you forget me, but I hope that you won’t.”  Cas leaned into him again, and Dean wrapped him up in his arms again.

 

“I could _never_ forget you, Cas.”  He kissed the man’s temple and felt Cas lean into him even more.  If this was their last night together, he didn’t want to ever let go.

 

“Where did you find my sister?  Is she still alive?”  Cas finally asked after they had sunk to the floor, sitting curled up together.  He was in Dean’s arms and he wanted to stay there forever

 

“She was at Mooresville.  I had my friend look for the records online, but she couldn’t find them.  There was no reason to digitize them,”  Dean explained.

 

“Does that mean to put them on a computer, this digitizing?”  Cas asked.

 

“Exactly.  Charlie can find most anything if it’s on the internet, but she couldn’t find them.  What she _did_ find is where the records had been moved to.  Turns out it was the hospital I work at.  I searched for months through hundreds of boxes, but I finally found the records of Anna Novak.  I knew I had the right person because the birth date matched what you told me.  Since the sanitarium was also the tuberculosis hospital for the state, many of the mental patients that had been relinquished there by their families ended up contracting it.  Anna, unfortunately, was one of them.  She died in 1951, April third, to be exact.  The records…they did awful things to her, and I think she might have been sexually assaulted because it listed a pregnancy, and a live birth, but not what happened to the baby.  That happened in 1946.  I’m so sorry, Cas.  Amelia should never have done that to Anna, and I’m sort of glad she died painfully.  Amelia, not Anna.  Anna never deserved that.”

 

Cas clung tighter to him.  “My poor, sweet angel!  How could Amelia do that?!  She knew how sensitive Anna was!  How could she be so cruel?”  He cried, his tears quickly soaking through Dean’s shirt.

 

“Amelia was thinking of herself, and I think she didn’t have the strength to raise Claire and also take care of a disabled adult.  Keeping Anna lowered her chances of finding another husband.  What man at that time would want a woman who was taking care of her dead husband’s disabled sister?  Almost as soon as she put Anna in that hell hole, she found Martin.  It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right.  If I could have gone back in time, I’d have beaten the shit of out that Gadreel guy, and maybe you’d have lived to take care of Anna like she needed.  I can’t imagine how scared she was, but what I do know is that she has crossed over.  She’s not here.  You will have the chance to see her again, and to apologize.  She’s with your parents again, and Claire now that she has passed on as well.  Your family is whole again, sweetheart, and they’re waiting for you.”

 

“My family is not all waiting for me.  You’ll still be here.  My heart is broken because you’re not going to be there with me.  Once you’ve met me there, my family will be complete.  I’m so glad I met you, and that you have changed my life, even if it’s my afterlife.  I’m a better person for having known you.”  Cas kissed him again, his lips lingering as if he needed to memorize the taste, the feel of Dean’s lips against his own.

 

“I, uh, went to where the graves were for the patients of Mooresville.  Most were dumped in mass graves, but some were buried in their own plots.  Someone cared enough about Anna to give her a separate grave.  I found it and dug her up.  Took me half the night to do it, but I collected her bones and I brought them.  She should be with her family, not buried in a grave that only has a number to mark her final resting place.  I know I can’t put her in a casket, and I don’t know exactly what to do with her remains, but they belong here, with you and your parents,”  Dean told him.  Cas looked over at the other bag Dean had brought.  He’d never brought more than a duffel bag before now.

 

“She’s…in there?”

 

“Yeah, she is.”  Dean nodded.  Cas crawled across the floor until he reached the bag, then slowly unzipped it.  He let out a broken sob when he saw her bones. 

 

“Oh, Anna, I failed you, I’m so sorry.”  His tears fell on the bones in the bag, and Dean crawled over to pull him back into his arms.

 

“You didn’t fail her, Amelia did.  You were a good brother, you took care of her, protected her.  You had no idea you would be killed.  I’m sure she’s happy, and her daughter is probably with her now.”

 

“She had a little girl?”  Cas asked, looking up at him.

 

“That’s what the records said.  I brought them, they’re in my duffel.”  Dean pulled the duffel bag closer and reached in to grab the folder.  It was old, the papers faded but still legible.  He handed it over and Cas read it, page by page.

 

“These are lies, Anna might not have talked, but she was never mute, nor was she stupid.  She was bright and happy when I was alive, and so beautiful, inside and out.  She must have withdrawn into herself without me there to protect her.  You’re sure she has passed on?”

 

“I am.  If not, she’d be here because her bones are, but she’s not.  I think she didn’t have unfinished business because she knew her child was safe and out of that place, and she thought you’d be waiting for her, along with your parents.  She’s been waiting a long time now.”  Dean kissed his temple and Cas leaned into it.

 

“I don’t want to go,”  Cas whispered.  “I’m not ready,”

 

“Your family needs you.  I don’t want you to go either, but you have to.”  Dean’s throat tightened and his eyes filled with tears again.

 

“So, I guess my business is finished.”  Cas sighed and leaned into Dean again.

 

“It is, unless you have more dead relatives I have to spend almost twenty years looking for,”  Dean chuckled.  It brought a smile to Cas’ face.

 

“No, I don’t really care what happened to Amelia.  If she’s on the other side, she’s getting an earful from me.  And if Gad is there, I fully intend to punch him in the face.  His brother Bart too.  It’s doubtful Bart would be there though.  This doesn’t feel real, not getting to see you again.  I looked forward to your visits every week, and hearing about your life.  I looked forward to these nights, when I could see you and touch you in person.  I wanted to for so long, and of course the night you tell me you love me is the night you tell me you found my sister.  This isn’t fair.”

 

“We got to have at least tonight.  One day, we’ll have forever.  I’m looking forward to that day.  Not too soon though,”  Dean told him.

 

Cas smiled, then sighed.  “I feel it.  There’s nothing there now, no weight holding me here.”  He looked up, smiling wider when he saw the bright light and his family waiting.  “Oh, I see them!  I see Anna and Claire!”

 

“Go then, it’s your turn.  Be with your family.”  Dean didn’t hold back his tears.  He loved this man, and he’d never see him again in this lifetime.  Cas climbed to his feet and pulled Dean up with him.  He turned to face the man he loved.

 

“I’ll see you in due time, Dean.  And so you know, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you.  Be safe.  Live your life to your fullest, and don’t worry about coming back here, your parents, me, we won’t be here in this cemetery, we’ll be in here.”  He placed a hand on Dean’s chest, right over his heart.  “Until we meet again, I’ll always be here.”

 

He kissed Dean one last time before letting go.  As Dean watched, Cas moved towards the light he didn’t see, but knew was there, and slowly Cas began to shimmer.  With one last smile, Cas was gone.  He burst into tears, covering his face with his hands.  He was alone; he didn’t feel Cas’ presence anymore. 

 

With a heavy heart, he packed up the lanterns.  Not wanting to just leave Anna’s remains sitting in a bag in the middle of the floor, he moved the bag over, so it was under the window, and zippered it shut.  She was gone too, and he doubted any of the Novaks cared about her bones, as long as she was here with her family, where she’d always belonged.

 

Stepping out of the mausoleum with the moon still high in the sky was surreal.  He and Cas had always stayed together until dawn, but now he had to go back to his apartment and try to get on with his life.  Sam was on the other side of the country, married with a family of his own.  Their younger brother Adam was also married, though they hadn’t had children yet.  He was the only one still alone.  He couldn’t fathom keeping the promise to Cas.  No one would ever fill his heart full the way Cas had.

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

Dean did his best, he really did.  He tried to find someone that was as wonderful as Cas, but he couldn’t.  There really wasn’t anyone that measured up, so he did what Cas had told him to: He adopted a baby.  His son brought joy and happiness into his life, and for the first time since Cas had crossed over, he felt complete.  He raised his son the best he could, and Archer turned out really good.  He was smart, independent, and as his father got older, he took care of him. 

 

When he was just past his eightieth birthday, Dean saw Cas again.  He had a room in his son and daughter-in-law’s house, and he was sitting by the window, a blanket draped over his legs as he watched the birds eating from the bird feeder his daughter-in-law had hung there just for him.  He had come to love Sabrina as if she were his own, and he adored his grandchildren.  Sitting there, watching the birds, he felt the presence that entered the room.  At first he thought it was one of the kids, but when he turned to look, Cas was standing there.

 

“Cas?  Is that you?”  His voice was not what it used to be, nor was his eyesight, but as Cas drew closer, he couldn’t help smiling.

 

“Yes, Dean, it’s me.  I’ve missed you so,”

 

Dean reached one wrinkled hand out to his love and Cas took it, kissing it gently.

 

“Is it time?  Time to go home?”

 

“Not quite yet, but soon.  You should say your goodbyes, your son and daughter-in-law will miss you terribly.  So will your grandchildren.”  Cas smoothed back a wisp of the hair Dean still had from his forehead before placing a tender kiss to it.

 

“I missed you, Cas.  I couldn’t love anyone as much as I still love you.”

 

“I know, darling, but you did love.  Your son is proof.  You raised a wonderful man.  You should be very proud,”  Cas told him.  Dean nodded.

 

“My Archer’s a good man.  I am proud of him.  He could have stuck me in a home, but he didn’t.  He didn’t want to see me suffer.  I love him very much.”

 

“Say your goodbyes.  When the time has come, I’ll return with your family to take you home.  We’ll be together again, my love.  Your brothers are both waiting for you.  They joke that you were the one to outlive them both, but they miss you very much.” 

 

“How much time do I have?”  Dean asked.

 

“Long enough.  Tell them how much you love them, and tell them how blessed your life has been for having them in it.  They need to hear that,”  Cas replied.

 

“Is it going to hurt?”  Dean worried.  “I’m scared.”

 

“Oh, sweet, sweet, Dean, you have nothing to be scared of.  I will sit by your side, and you will go to sleep.  When you wake up, I’ll take you home.”  Cas kissed his forehead again, and Dean reached his other hand up to grab his jacket.  They’d been apart for so long now, he didn’t want to let go.

 

When Cas left, Dean wiped away the tears from his eyes and turned to look at the birds outside his window again.  A few minutes later his bedroom door opened and Sabrina poked her head in.

 

“Are you ok, Dad?  I thought I heard you talking.”

 

He turned to smile at her.  “The love of my life was here.  He’s going to take me home soon.”

 

Sabrina, alarmed, called Archer into the room.

 

“What’s going on?”  Archer asked.

 

“Your dad says someone was here, the love of his life?”  Sabrina looked at her husband with concern.  Archer smiled and looked at his dad.

 

“Cas was here?”

 

His father nodded, a happy smile on his face.

 

“He was.  He says he’ll be back soon with my family.  My parents, my brothers, they’ll all be coming, but so will Cas.  I’ve missed him so much.”

 

Archer crossed the room, coming to stand beside his father’s chair.  His throat was tight and his eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

 

“It’s ok, Dad.  You’ve lived a good life.  When they come to take you home, make sure you kiss them and tell them how much you love them.”

 

“I will.  Cas told me to make sure I said my goodbyes first.  I’m not quite ready to go yet.”

 

“Archer, what is your dad talking about?”  Sabrina asked. 

 

“When a person is getting ready to die, their loved ones visit, to prepare them for their ascension to heaven.  If Cas came to see him, then it’s almost time,” he explained.  Her dark eyes widened, and instinctively her hand came up to grasp the gold cross hanging around her neck.

 

“I’ve heard of that happening before.  I think I heard your dad mention that his dad saw his mother before he died.  I think my grandfather saw my grandmother too.”

 

“Dad always told me Cas would be coming to take him home, that he’d made a promise that he would.  It makes sense that he’d come now.  Dad’s heart isn’t doing so good.  He loved Cas very much, but he died a long time ago.  Cas was the reason my dad never married.  No one ever compared to his first love.”  Archer squeezed his father’s shoulder lightly.  “It’s ok, Dad.  Whenever you’re ready, you can go.  Know that I love you, you were the best dad ever, and you will be greatly missed.”

 

Sabrina went to her father in law and hugged him.

 

“I love you like my own father.  If it’s your time, then…it’s your time.  Archer is right, we’ll miss you very much.”

 

Dean patted her back and kissed her cheek.  “I couldn’t have asked for a better son, or a better daughter-in-law.  You gave me three of the best grandchildren too.  I want my chance to say goodbye to them too.”

 

“Do you want to do that now, Dad?”  Archer asked.

 

“No, I think I have a bit of time left.  I’d like to play chess with Max one more time, and cuddle Molly and Simon for a while.  Maybe tomorrow.”

 

The next day, Cas came to visit.  Dean smiled at him, then went to find Max for a game of chess.  The day after that, Cas returned again, and Dean spent a few hours lounging around with his six- and five-year-old grandchildren as they watched movies.  He’d always loved spending time with them.  On the third day, Cas was not alone.  For the first time since he was four years old, Dean saw Mary Winchester was there.  She kissed his forehead and smoothed what hair he still had back from his face.  His dad, his stepmother, and his brothers came too.  Sam looked good, his long, flowing hair from his youth was back, and he looked happy.  Adam was all smiles.

 

“Is it time now?”  Dean took Cas’ hand as he was led to his bed.  As he laid down, Mary pulled the blankets back, then tucked him in.  As promised, Cas sat down on the edge of the bed and took his hand.

 

“Go to sleep, my love, and when you wake, I’ll be right here waiting,”

 

“I’m still scared,”  Dean whispered as tears welled up again. 

 

“Shh, it’s ok,”  Cas promised.  Dean let out a weary sigh and closed his eyes.

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

Archer found his dad the next morning and let out an anguished cry that had his wife hurrying into the room.  Her hand flew up to her mouth as she began to cry.  She hugged her husband as he broke down, clinging to her tight. 

 

Dean looked down at his family with love in his heart.  There was no unfinished business, he was free to be with his mother, father, siblings, and Cas.  Finally, he was with the man he loved.

 

“We have forever now, Dean,”  Cas told him as they walked through the most beautiful garden Dean had ever seen.  He turned to face Cas, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close.

 

“Forever isn’t long enough.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had your tissues handy for this chapter. When I wrote it, I cried through the ending, then when I went to reread it and edit it, I cried all over again. My beta says she didn't cry, but some of you might have. Let me know what you thought of this one. I'm posting early for Halloween, but I want to wish you a happy one nonetheless. I'm off to bed now. Sweet dreams, don't let the ghouls bite.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I'll have both chapters up tonight.


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